Aaron Tries to Eat "On a Budget", Fails Miserably

A few notes up front: comments on birthday will happen next blog post. Also, starting at some point soon, I'm going to put up essays I've been working on about more general topics, including safety in Barcelona and phonemes (not both of those together, though). I'd also like to look back at some point on the relationship with the Spanish (or other) TESL students who we "taught."

First, the good news:
I've recieved e-mails back from three places so far (two in Indonesia, one in South Korea) trying to schedule interviews with me. We'll see how that goes. In the meantime, I'll continue to apply for jobs.

Today for the most part was very excellent. I started off looking for a shellfish restaurant recommended to me (more on that later), and wound up walking from my flat in the Barri Gotico southwest towards Montjuic, the "Jew Mountain" which is now a massive network of parks and former Olympic sites, many with spectacular views of the city. Here are some pictures:

Clockwise from the bottom: a view of the city looking northeast, including Port Vell and Port Olympic, as well as the Mediterranean Sea; the "official" entrance to Montjuic Park, leading gradually up to the Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya; a view of the Montjuic mountain going south from the Barri Gotico; Miramar, a luxury hotel/club complex which is also where you can get the cable car which travels between Montjuic and Barceloneta beach; a closer look at the Museu and the magic fountains (which in the picture are not running).

These pictures unfortunately are not my own. I have had difficulty putting pictures on my computer, so there is just going to be a massive photo dump when I get back to the US in 17 days.

Before I went there, I had a chance to see the Maritime Museum, one of the best deals in the city. The museum is housed in the former shipyards, the complex had been used as a shipbuilding site since at least the 13th century, and apparently some of the original structure remains. There are some really neat artifacts in there, including old seafaring maps of the world and a surplus of nautical gadgetry like astrolabes and compasses. In addition, there are some great ship models, and large (in English) descriptions of various periods of immigration/travel across the Atlantic. The museum cost 2.50 Euro and I spent an hour inside. Here's a picture of the interior:

You can see from the picture that the museum makes great use of the shipyard structure. So that was nice.

Montjuic requires at least a day, and likely more, to explore fully, and its one of the nicest urban park areas I've evern been to. Imagine combining the scenic views and hiking trails of Henry Hudson Park with the palacial grandeur of the Empire State Plaza and the architectural wonder of the NY State Capitol and the historical resonance of the Schuyler Mansion and the...okay, maybe that's enough.

Montjuic more accurately resembles the big park in San Diego (name?), except elevated about 300-500 feet over the city. The mountain is a massive park complex with gardens, luxury hotels, castles, palaces, museums, replica Spanish villages (okay just one) and really really shitty red wine, which almost sabotaged my sunset but, in the end, merely ruined my pants.

It's fun, but somewhat difficult, to navigate by foot, because some of the trails up the mountain don't match up with the roadways, but I walked up from one of the smaller entrances, in order to get a better view of the city going up. I walked up to the cable car (which wasn't running) and then walked across Montjuic to the "main" entrance, where the big art museum towers over a dramatic path of descending stairs and fountains down the city below.  Looking over the city, there's a seating area where you can listen to free music and watch the sunrise/sunset (which I did). I'll be back there soon.

Then after such a wonderful day, it was both figurately and literally downhill from Montjuic as I descended from the museum down towards culinary hell.

So I conclude grandly with a warning: DO NOT EAT AT "LA PARADETA". Do not listen to guidebooks that tell you it is value dining. Do not listen to websites that tell you the wait is worth it. Do not listen to your inner voice which says you should try to enjoy some local seafood (you should, but not at la paradeta). Do not try to be a hip hipster and eat somewhere because its popular.

JUST DONT EAT THERE.

Who you SHOULD listen to is God. Or more accurately the Jewish God of the Old Testament. Old Testament God says you should not shellfish, or bottom feeders, ESPECIALLY on Passover, during which you also should not eat bread (I ate that too). At least if you're Jewish. Maybe if you are Goyim you can eat at la paradeta, but I would recommend if you even fit under the Nazi definition of what it is to be Jewish, do not take a peek at what is on the other side of the empty Mercat del Born.

I will show you what is there right now:

There. You've seen it. The best part of the restaurant is the underwater graffiti over the door.

I waited ninety minutes to eat in this hole-in-the-wall. I very nearly walked up and down Montjuic in 90 minutes. You can take a train to France in 90 minutes. Most football/soccer games last around 90 minutes. There are some baseball games which last 90 minutes. The whole time I was thinking: this is going to be worth it. Otherwise, who would wait in such a long line?

At the end of the 90 minute line was a raw SHELLFISH seafood bar, meaning no fishy fish, and they proceeded to promptly lose my order, as the guy and took my calamari and prawns into the kitchen didn't bother asking me to pay or giving me a ticket.

What is so special about the restaurant? Not very much. The decor was sparse, cafeteria-style sitting. I had been led to believe that the kitchen was open to the view of the customers (I thought that was the whole appeal of the place-you order the fish and they cook it in front of you). As it turns out, looking in on the kitchen was not encouraged.

The menu is literally just the raw shellfish bar and some cold disgusting bread. I think you can also get salad, too. The food is all per kilo, except for what I actually wanted, crab and lobster, which was all extremely expensive. All in all, by the way, my "cheap" seafood dinner turned out to be one of the more expensive meals I've had, 18 EU for just me, and while I badly misjudged the amount of food I ordered, well...maybe that's why most restaurants fix the size of one plating? 

Just paying for my meal however was an ordeal because the hostess behind the bar decided she didn't like non-natives and told me IN SPANISH that she didn't understand (my Spanish) and that I had to wait for someone else because she didn't want to deal with me. 95% of the people I've met here have at least appreciated my attempts at Spanish, but I guess la Paradeta hires from the other 5%.

All they do with all that raw seafood is either fry it or grill it, and than douse it in oil and garlic. You can get store-brand tartar and tomato sauce, if you so desire (unlike most restaurants here and everywhere, that kind of crap isn't provided au gratis on the table-it costs 80 euro-cents). The seafood was fresh...but it was too fresh. The oil and garlic was instantly ruined by the (literal meaing here) shit which I squeezed out of the prawns.

The calamari was okay but was somewhat bland. All in all, this was a meal that one could have bought at the local supermarket, or at least one of the many fresh food markets around the city (Ramblas, Santa Catarina, etc etc etc). In fact, it would have been better that way, because at the restaurant the food got cold fast, whereas in the comfort of your home (or flat) there is often a heating element, such as a microwave.

Writing about la Paradeta has made me almost as angry as when I had my meal there. I need a hug now.